Time Keeps Going On.....

 1943, 1945, 1963, 1966, 1968, 1991,1992. Certain number have fond memories. Loads of excitement and possibilities. Things to come, may come, could be. Laughter, good times. There are also times that seem to be times that you may have thought you may never get through. 2003, 2006 & 2008 are years for my family and friends of ours we DID NOT think we would get through alive. Cancer diagnosis, surgery, radiation, end of life care, more cancer more deaths, more sadness. 

When my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer it was a major hit to our family. Watching her go through the surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and seeing that it was not helping and knowing we would not have much time was devastating. The thought of survival  without her was something I felt at the time was impossible. 

It has been 20 years without her. 18 without our Dad and my cancer treatment. Those years were devastating yet there were moments of beauty. My niece sitting on my Dads lap talking to the nurse, my nephew yelling at mom to wake up he had a picture he made for her. The friends of moms that came across to country to help her in at the end and support us was a miracle.  

This is one of the last pictures I have of my parents. Vicky & Terry. They are still well loved and extremely missed.

Letting Go Opens New Possibilities

 I have been holding onto the idea of sewing clothes. I had been gifted  a sewing machine from a friend and her mom many, many years ago. I was very excited to get it and try sewing again. I had stopped after high school. I went to craigslist and bought a used serger and got lessons along the way with my Mom. I struggled with the serger and also sewing clothes. It was not a fun hobby for me like it was with my mom. She was good at it and enjoyed it.  

Several years ago I got that serger a check up and was told it was not beginner friendly and could be hard to use, So I sold it and bought a new one but it still was not fun for me to sew. I did not like it.  I wanted to give it up yet felt guilty. I felt like I was a disappointment in some way. Go figure.

I decided to let it go and sold it to my aunt for her grandson. HE WAS SO EXCITED TO GET IT.  Letting the sewing clothing thing go to a weight off and opened up space for me to feel excited to get back to my card making. One of my crafts is making cards. They are simple cards nothing to elaborate in any way yet they five me joy. The one thing that tweaked my interest is to learn some simple watercolour painting to enhance my card making. 

It has sparked some joy that I have not felt in along time. I am looking at YouTube tutorials and found 2 books to work through to see if I can play with paints. I am a class &/or kit person so I am hoping that I will enjoy this process. So look forward to to seeing my makings with watercolour paints

2026 Knitting Goals Maybe Spinning also

I took a break from crafting this year. I was struggling with some things and I had no joy in crafting, no mojo. I took some time to go through my yarn stash and card making stash to clear out things that did not serve my needs anymore. I gave a bunch of stuff to a friend and an aunt. What was not wanted I have a favourite thrift store I took it too. 

This week I looked at my projects and let go of what was not working and reset what was. My cross stitch projects are ready to be worked on again, I have 2 gift knits I want to finish and get them to their recipients. My spinning & wheel are ready to be enjoyed. 

I am a slow crafter. It has bothered me in the past that I was not as fast as others but now now. For me my crafting is health care. I mentally soothes my soul. I have some goals I want to work towards this year. My guild has a day spin in at the Local Library the first Thursday of the month that I want to be more consistent in going to. I want to get some cards stashed up for myself and a few for gifts. I also want to focus on sweaters this year. 

I LOVE making sweater yet I have not been happy with many of them. Most have been gifted because I did not like to fit or style so this year I have picked a few that I really want in my wardrobe for specific reasons. One is Top Down Sweater by Lions Brand. I will be using Cascade 200 in blue. I picked this because of the neck area. I thought it would be nice for those cold days when I am walking to keep me warm. It is a topdown sweater which I love to make. 

Here is the link to my Ravelry Page Top Down Pullover

I have many sweaters in my queue yet the other I would like focus on the Barley Field Cardigan from JoJo Knitwear, Jay Sweater by Rachel Brockman and Window to my Soul by Joji Locatelli. I do have yarn for all three and I am going to concentrate on the process and how I can make them well. As I make them I will document them here and share how I do. 

I'm Not Crazy It's Menopause!!!

 I have been struggling not just lately but for a while. I did not realize all the things were connected yet they are.  My menopause journey is linked to my cancer journey because the chemotherapy and hormone therapy had me artificially in menopause for a period of 6 years. During that time I had a period and my emotions were hard.  I would cry or be cranky at a drop of a hat and it was hard for me and the people around me.  When I stoped the hormone therapy it took about 5 to 6 months for my body to start my periods again yet it was different. It felt a river was leaving my body and the hot sweats were on fire.  

My body transitioned over the next couple of years to where I was in full menopause.  What I noticed was my mental health struggled and talking to a counsellor help so very much. The one thing I did need though was an increase in my depression meds (The reasons I am on those are another story which I may tell sometime). I found the love of walking and how they help not just my physical health but my mental health. I found that I needed to be outside that was a big key to feeling better. Increasingly the outside walks soothed my soul like nothing else. When I could not walk it was hard so I found a love of small raised bed gardening. The flowers and digging in the dirt really felt good. I also got to see a benefit also when looking out my front window or my back deck. A few changes made the back deck an oasis to knit, spin, read, listen to the birds or the sounds of the neighbourhood. 

Fast forward to now I had been complaining regularly about how my joints especially my hips and knees ached sooo much and trying to walk hurt more than necessary. I needed to take acetaminophen many times in a month for it. Also sometimes I found that I would feel really puffy and I felt majorly sluggish or sloth like. Moving was HARD, HARD, HARD. So I started to research menopause and some of the side effects and how people worked through them. You see I cannot take HRT's (Hormone Replacement Therapy) because my cancer was estrogen driven and I need to stay away from anything that would promote that. One of the things I found was a podcast from Oprah who featured Dr. Sharon Malone who is a national renowned expert on women's health. That podcast was very helpful yet there was someone else who was a game changer for me. Her name is Karen Ann Wright and she is on Youtube. She has a video called 'Its not too Anxiety! Musculoskeletal Syndrome of menopause is real'. Check her out. I found that I am not crazy the joint pain and puffiness is really and it is a thing from menopause. I felt like I can breathe now and I can make an action plan with my GP. If you are feeling not yourself you are not alone. Keep looking and keep fighting. 

Harvest Cardigan

 

This is the Harvest Cardigan from TinCanKnits.  It is a simple, straightforward, beginner sweater. I have found lately that I have needed easy knitting. It is something that brings me joy & comfort. I am knitting it out of Berroco Remix in Olive. The size is XXL. I LOVE cardigan & sweater knitting but I overheat very easily so I usually don't knit with aran or worsted for myself. This is a nice one for the cold weather season & will go well with dress pants, jeans or leggings. I am trying to be more aware of what I am knitting for myself. Will I wear it, does it fit my lifestyle, will it wear well? 

My Garden took a Hit this Winter

 My garden took a real hit this past winter. I lost a bunch of things including my butterfly bush, my sarrococca and others. My wild roses needed to be cut back about 70% and a hydrangea needs to be babied. What about your garden did you find that you had a lots of clean up also? 

With the extra room that I had I added many hydrangeas because well they are a favourite of mine. 

I kind of feel I am starting over in some ways so I hope over time it will be fabulous.

 

Gardening Fail & Do Over!!! Not Giving up!!

So one of my clients likes trying a bunch of different things. One of the things he wanted to try is gardening. So last year we went to Costco got a raised bed & dirt, plants. We put it up and..... nothing!! He forgot about it unless I brought it up & even then is seemed like it was ALL my job. I felt like I was pushing him to do something he did not want to do. So I let it go. I thought that it was a waste of money & a total fail. But there was something nagging me in the back of my head saying try again. But why? I did not want to make this a hassle or forced. 

So I started to think it though. He loved to pick the strawberries when they were in season. Almost never did I need to ask him to do it. Why was that? Well, it was just outside the sliding door. Easy access, fun, easy. The other garden was around the corner, not seen, almost hidden.

So yesterday Christine, David & I went about moving the raised garden to the back. It was a team effort & a lot of fun. It did not take as long as we thought either. 

Now that is is moved & the dirt was put in David & I went shopping for veggies. We went to Potter's & ohh boy did David go hog wild. 

We got 2 lettuces, spinach, 2 tomato plants, cauliflower, zucchini & cucumbers.

He's known as Farmer John now. This is so better. I feel so much better. Not in the picture is a blueberry bush. I love spring. It is so full of potential.