So tomorrow (June 27) I will be turning 50. Fifty. Half a century. I never really thought in any way I would be 50. In my younger years (school age) I didn't even think that far. In my 20's I just thought it was funny. That was old. In my 30's I was busy working, being married to think about 50. I think I had a bit of a oh crap I am 35.
Then our lives took a horrible turn with the diagnosis of my Moms colon cancer. So the end of my 30 to mid 40's was all about family members dying & being diagnosed myself with breast cancer. So I did not really thing about turing 50 at all then.
So now the night before I am to turn 50, I am struggling with the thoughts of how the time has just flown. How I failed at many things, hurt many people (some intentional & some not so much). I am reminded that in my younger life I wanted to get married to my knight in shining armour, have a home with a picket fence, a dog & some kids. Instead I got a gold miner, many dogs & no kids. I did not finish college due to some laziness & procrastination!!!
My life is definitely not where I thought I would be at all. I did not think I would be dealing with anxiety & depression. That was not on my radar. I did not think I would be childless. YET I AM!!
I am today living in a beautiful home, doing a job I love (most of the time), at home. I have a husband that loves me most of the time & 2 beautiful dogs. I live in a community that is wonderful & surrounded by friends that are the best. I am involved in a church that is my life.
So at 50 what I know for sure..... Life is really short. Life can be hard. When it isn't enjoy!!
